Saturday, March 5, 2011

My love, I'll die for you

To be quite honest , after more than 2 months in the ER, I don’t have much trouble treating patients with deadly injuries  or breaking bad news to their families …I don’t know why  , I guess I'm starting to feel kinda immune emotionally  which ironically makes me do my job more efficiently ….but yesterday was different …
A couple of blasts, no big news... Deadly injuries, again no big news but children that was  just too much for me to bear …too innocent  to deserve anything of such scale ,it was just too much  . Nevertheless, I do think that I did a good job but the scene got into me …
The last thing I needed was a 20 something guy to crash into the ER with a suicidal attempt  and guess what he did a very impressive job damaging 2 of his major wrist arteries , cutting  major nerve supply to his hand and almost all his hand tendons …well It was beyond my expertise the guy was dying and he didn't want me to help him …
So here I'm dealing with a big crying child ….
'Don’t worry, we stopped the bleeding but you have to be admitted to the hospital'
'I wanna die'
'You are going to be ok'
'My hand is numb , I can't feel my fingers ..I'm losing my hand …please I'd rather die'
'Everything can be fixed don’t worry'
'Let me die'
Keeping a firm reassuring voice was starting to get harder and harder even with all my seniors present around me.. I knew I wasn’t alone but I really wanted to leave him and go home I just couldn’t bear it any longer  
'How did that happen?'
'While cleaning the fish tank ' his brother quickly replied … yea right at midnight I thought  but I didn’t say a thing … the pattern of the wound was against this version of the story … I , and all other ER doctors who examined him thought otherwise …
'Hussein, I need to know how that happened?'
'I cut it myself …sob …I love her so much…sob sob sob … I can't live without Iqbal …I love her doctor' He said it with such intensity that for a split of a second I did actually think that he did the right thing!
'uhhhhh !! You gonna  be ok once you  get  the blood the dizziness will go away…' what a lame answer ! But I couldn’t think of anything else to say at that moment
Finally my substitute doctor arrived 'What happened to your apron?'

'It’s a new fashion" red zebra" '
'There's an apron at …'
'No need my shift is over'
'Doctor I'm allergic to penicillin and I didn’t …'
'Madam, see if the this doctor can help you … '
'But you did see her first' her son said like if treating his mom is my constitutional duty
'But now my shift is over …'' sigh''  ok tell me what happened then?'  
'Dr.Ziyad take it from here, would you?'
'He likes you'
'Who man? him?'
'He wouldn’t let me take the case'
'Gosh Ziyad I'm not in the mood for your stupid jokes..ur mean man you know that !?'
'I'll take it as compliment  ...thank you doc.. See you tomorrow' he said it sarcastically as usual